bestival!

so i went to my first outdoor music festival on the isle of wight. me and my brother took a bus to southhampton and then a ferry across to the island. on the ferry i was subjected to the sight of a guy's ass which seemed shrink-wrapped with stripey boxers. male saggy pants are NOT COOL, people! but it bode of things to come.......



i saw some asses over the weekend! they were going for the biggest fancy dress party in the guinness book of world records on saturday night, so there were people dressed as absolutely everything, even though the theme was 'cowboys and indians'. there was a guy who went as a tepee, and 2 guys who went as sperm.... and there were male asses, and females asses, very unattractive and moderately attractive asses. there was a whole variety, in fact! i have posted some here for your viewing pleasure.



unattractive male ass




female ass. well it's better than the male one, innit?

and the music was good too. some bands really aren't that good live, but some were awesome. but just imagine, thousands and thousands of people in a big open field, all facing the main stage, all grooving along to the same beat. it's just the atmosphere of it all... and it all depends on which tent u go to as well, and what time u go. the afternoon is more chilled out, people having picnics on the grass. bestival is a bit of a kooky electic hippy festival as well- hippy parents bringing their hippy kids to the festival... babies bopping along to the music blasting from the speakers... little kids chasing each other through throngs of drunk people. and there were drunk people. galore. at night, when the headline groups come out, it's much more exciting, pumped up.

i was watching either royskopp or 2 many djs, i forget which, on sat night, when this guy dressed in a sombrero and poncho comes up to me and my brother and bellows, eyes scanning the crowd, 'WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MUSHROOM?!?!???!'

Pause.

brother: '........ the mushroom........???/'

Man: 'YES YES!!! THE MUSHROOM!!!...... AHA!!! THERE IT IS! THE MUSHROOM!' [pointing over my left shoulder].

Me and brother look around bewildered.

Man grabs me by both shoulders and spins me around and maneuvers me to the right. and shakes me.

'THE MUSHROOM, THERE IT IS!!!'

i see a mushroom in the crowd. it is a man. dressed in a mushroom costume. he was on a red mushroom-top shaped hat, red with white spots, and a cape with the same pattern. he is, literally, a walking mushroom.

and he was not the only kooky one, not by far. i was lining up for a homemade cake at the WI [Women's Institute, like in the movie 'Calendar Girls'- remember- naked middle-aged women?] when i turned around and looked at the guy behind me. he seemed like an ordinary middle-aged guy, a bit of the aging hippy about him with longish grey hair. but fairly normal. then i looked down. his toe-nails were painted in bright colours. each toe was a different colour.






i mean, even some of the artistes were nutters. there was this guy called lee 'scratch' perry, who is clearly insane. i swear, it's like they just let some random mad homeless person up there and gave him a mike. to my recollection, one of his songs went, '.... politicians, politicians...... something something spit.... politicians, politicians, eat up your own shit'. he just makes things up on the spot. he was hilarious though.



random dressed up people in the fancy dress parade.

funny thing about being one of only about 10 asian people at a festival of 20 000. people tend to peer in your face and yell at u in foreign languages. i got a 'nihao', two 'konichiwa's, and, bizarrely, a 'bonjour!' look at the number of tents! and this wasn't even a good photo. there were thousands of tents. THOUSANDS.



so all, in all, it was a good experience. the festival food store was good too- we had the most amazing chips. they were 'stokely webster's incredible chips' and they really WERE incredible! i mean, handcut chips, so crisp on the outside and soft on the inside. with vinegar and ketchup......... yum yum yum.... so good!!! and i had a good pie too. and a good burger. and good vegetarian food.... i mean, i didn't expect much from the food, but it was GOOD!

so that's all from me for now. i got sick on sunday, which was rotten, and now i must rest. i tell ya, when u have a nasty cold and sore throat, a music festival is not where u want to be. u want to be sleepy on a comfy bed with a fluffy duvet, not in a tent pitched rather unfortunately on rocks. and really, u want a toilet that doesn't store the waste products of thousands of people under the seat.

and on that note, i leave u....

with a photo of my shoes. because i am retiring them after the festival. they have been rained on, stepped on, rolled in mud, covered in grass.... rest in peace, oh good shoes. u have served me well.